Here are the survival rules for America’s social outcasts: Straight, Somewhat Conservative, Mulatto Men.
I realize this page will probably cause some controversy. So, before anyone takes offense, let me emphasize that I am not a racist or a hater. My wife is a beautiful dark-brown woman with African features, and we’ve been happily married for 25 years. I’ve listed these rules based on my own experience as a mulatto who has tried to interact and gain acceptance within the African American community to no avail. These rules are not definitive, and I will add more when needed. I want to encourage other straight, mulatto men to come forward and share their stories based on these rules.
1) Don’t go out of your way to appear Afrocentric, i.e., wearing dreadlocks and African clothes, attending “pro-black” cultural events, etc.
2) Be prepared for female rejection no matter how handsome or successful you are. All their lives, Black women have been conditioned to believe that you, and only you, consider them unattractive.
3) You’re not obligated to be part of the so-called “Hip Hop” culture movement. In other words, don’t wear your pants hanging down to the knees, don’t buy $300 sneakers, and if you must listen to rap music, avoid anyone who degrades women or advocates violence in their lyrics.
4) If going on a blind date, be suspicious if a black woman describes herself as “honey-colored” or some other ambiguous varietal of skin color. And by all means, be specific about your appearance to avoid confusion or misunderstanding.
5) If you’re gay, trans, Jewish, or some other, walk away. No offense intended, but the rules don’t apply to you. Mixed-race gays and trans will always place LBGTQ issues first, just as biracial Jews will be obligated to support Israel and Zionism.
6) If single, avoid bars and clubs filled with too many dark-skinned black males. They’ll view you as sexual competition for the attention of mixed or biracial women, which could lead to trouble.
7) Don’t feel you have to talk or act like a “brutha” around other black people.
8) Don’t fall for the slave narrative that light-skinned black men have had it “too easy,” or were “soft,” or we’re trying to “pass ourselves off as white.”
9) Remember, most American blacks who claim to be part Cherokee are not. Get a DNA test and embrace your mixed heritage.
10) Along the journey as a racial outcast, you may meet a handful of individuals who will accept you regardless of your appearance. Hang on to them.
11) Be prepared for the stares, gawks, and, in some instances, downright hostility from American blacks wherever you go.
12) Don’t believe the myth that black people (and they may try to include mulattos) have trillions of dollars available at our disposal. And if we learned how to harness this enormous fortune into productive endeavors, we’d be among the wealthiest nations in the world. In reality, there is no “black buying power.” Most African Americans have no actual wealth, such as land or business ownership, real estate, or investment income. And sadly, many don’t even possess bank accounts.
13) Choose your allies wisely. America’s new race war has already begun, and we may have to form our own mulatto army. I recommend learning self-defense and prepper preparedness skills.
14) Don’t join any black power/nationalist organizations or feel that you need to participate in their protests and demonstrations. Most of the rank and file are uneducated ghetto prison negroes, and no matter how hard you try to fit in, they won’t fully accept or trust you.
15) If you plan to attend college or university, avoid majors such as Black Studies or Afro-American Studies. They’re worthless. Learn from Booker T. Washington and master a marketable skill, like computer science, applicable to the real world.
16) If you crawl into bed with a woman you’ve just met, insist on wearing protection. STDs are rampant, and nearly 80 percent of black children are born into single-parent (female) households. Don’t become another statistic.
17) Avoid unhealthy “negro food” such as chicken wings with pork fried rice. And if you drink alcohol, stay away from cheap shit such as malt liquor and rot gut whiskey.
18) Avoid people obsessed with color who can’t stop asking questions about your racial origins.
19) Register as an Independent and avoid the Democratic party at all costs. They’re not your friend; they’ll only use you to get votes.
20) People will constantly ask you about your nationality. Don’t describe yourself using slave terminology: half-breed, colored, mixed blood, octoroon, etc. Instead, say I’m biracial or mulatto (European/African heritage.)
21) Show appreciation and support for light-skinned sports heroes and celebrities such as Steph Curry and Patrick Mahomes.
22) Avoid “black” brunch hangouts. They’re loud and embarrassing, and violence could erupt at any time.
23) Don’t feel you need to cut your hair in a short fade or baldy just because it’s the preferred cut of black men.
24) Ignore all those stinking, shuffling black bums and beggars in the streets and subways. They’ll address you as “sir” or “brother” when they need a dime or a cigarette, but if these deadbeats were in a better situation, they’d spit on you and wouldn’t give you the time of day.
25) Don’t assume if a black woman is light-complexioned, she’ll automatically be attracted to you. Due to her conditioning, she may regard you as a potential threat to her privileged status in the black community. Beware!
26) If you decide to get a dog, don’t think you have to adopt a pit bull or Rottweiler just because they’ve become the choice breeds in the hood.
27) Don’t feel you must celebrate or participate in black history month or holidays like Kwanza, Juneteenth, and MLK Day. These symbolic events were never intended for the mulatto man.
28) If you haven’t done so already, stop watching black shows and YouTube videos that glorify violence, negroisms, and degenerate behavior.
29) Stop reading books that romanticize supposed ancient black kingdoms and cultures or those that continually whine about white racism and oppression. It’s time to move forward.